mar 18th, 2021
let me welcome you to this colored typed blog. computers are so cool.
1 feb, a monday: once I get out of my shell or start to feel more confident there’s always the nagging voice telling me to go back. No one wants to hear what I have to say, stop annoying people, keep your head down, just go away.
I am learning to counter this voice with a voice of my own. One that honors who I am and what I hope my everyday actions hope to convey. A voice that demonstrates my integrity, my grit, my character, my love. I want to show all of this– yet at the same time, I want to hide away and keep everything to myself– because what’s not shared can never be broken or stolen… right? But what if its the opposite. The mere act of sharing, of exposing my own vulnerabilities allow an unimaginable and intimate connections with those I love. Are you ever afraid you will push someone away instead of lifting them up? Are you afraid that even if you lift them up, will they just forget about you once a date’s passed and you, your skills, your personality, your attributes, your help, its all now just unneeded. That’s what so many of us want right? To be pushed and nudged and boosted and admired even when we can’t do it ourselves. I guess the point of this paragraph is to say that I am trying to do things for people in the same manner I would want someone to do for me. I want to be my own friend. So, how would I act? How should I act?
18 march, a thursday: I feel fuller. In my heart, in my head, my LEGS. I feel stronger… like an atrophied muscle returning to some semi-normal state. I can’t believe i have the opportunity to interact with such beautiful, inspiring, and loving people each day. Even when Gabriela doesn’t accept my hugs, I know she’s just playing that long game.
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Mar 19, 2021
healing …
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Mar 19, 2021
what a cute pic. I can’t wait to see the glow you emanate after birthing a baby. just evening thoughts.
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Mar 19, 2021
Replying toCharlotte K
and the BLOG POST. oh my gosh. the anticipation
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Mar 19, 2021
Replying toCharlotte K
yeah you rock a smock
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Mar 19, 2021
Replying toCharlotte K
Thank you for these words of affirmation. You must know my love language
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Mar 19, 2021
Replying toGabe Fuhrman
true
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Mar 19, 2021
To clarify, the only times Annie has tried to hug me has been when I was extremely sweaty and disgusting. She knows this and that I am open to hugs when I am in a less sweaty state🙃
Mar 19, 2021
Replying toGabriela Huggins
I like your profile Ms GabrielaLikeReply