what happens if we try

So what? What happens?

There are so many chances to fail, and fail publicly, that it can feel counter-intuitive- to try something new. It goes against our innate craving of comfort, predictability, and routine. Evenings are easy when you sit on the couch re-watching Yellowstone. Your brain is just stimulated enough with the faux drama of a modern western to allow the body to melt into the plush fabric. Just one more episode, right?

I come across quotes and inspirational videos about ‘leaving our routine behind’ and ‘making time work for you’, but still, we are eased back into scrolling, lounging, and easy peasy living. Is this the point? Is this simply the culmination of hundreds, thousands of years of evolution, development, and overall human advancement all to sell ourselves to the algorithm? This reminds me of my favorite verse of my favorite John Craigie song, Dissect the Bird, that I’ll put in the description below, because it’s long and worth the separation. There’s no denying that our species craves comfort, but this can’t be our pinnacle, right?

I remember when I would have to borrow the family computer to search lyrics I heard on the radio earlier in my mom’s car. I would google as many lyrics as I could remember, search results came up fruitless, no reward, no answer, no chance to buy this mystery song on iTunes for $0.99. Eventually, the song played again and the radio (I’m sure it was MIX 107.3) announced Santana’s Into the Night. My quest was over, and I could finally play this song on repeat (when I was home, received access to the computer, and had the money to make another iTunes purchase, download it to an iPod) I was free to play this to my heart’s content. But now? We know what songs are coming next even when we put it on shuffle (thanks, Spotify Queue), we have surpassed Shazam by decades, replacing that with Google’s ability to recognize an off-key hum rendition. Your answer appears in seconds- if you ever must ask. Let me note this is a perspective of mid-late 2000’s. I know many have their own memories of nostalgic ways of the past whether its your town’s coffee or library shop prior to the laptop scene, or beloved VHS tapes stacked in the living room, making physical mixtapes, writing postcards, receiving postcards. Maybe these things aren’t beloved to all, but there comes a point when optimization may fail the human in you. 

So, what does this have to do with trying and failing? 

It is harder to mess up these days. From spellcheck, to Iphone’s ‘edit text message’ feature, to bosses (and employees!) using chat gpt to write emails, I fear our ability to critically think, react, and earnestly connect with our true selves is waning, and quickly. But I am trying to be a human a lot these days. Here’s an incomplete list:

I am trying to learn how to play the harmonica. My own ears can only take 15-30 minutes of practice a day, but I am trying.

I going to try to ride the Accursed Race on my Singlespeed hardtail. I make no claims this is a wise decision, but it is something I want to do.

I am revising and editing and trying to apply to a National Geographic Explorer’s Grant. Do thousands apply? Yes. Am I scientist or a professional storyteller/journalist/photographer? No, but I still want to try.

I am trying to finish my Yoga Teacher Training. The live zoom meetings on EST may prevent me from ever finishing, but I am doing at least two a week. (8 more to go!)

I am trying find a balance between running and cycling. I like cycling. I love running. I am not great at either, but I love trying hard for them.

John Craigie’s masterpiece:

So when the candle flickers, when the days get dark
They call them first world problems but they still break your heart
When the universe feels like it’s against you
Just take a minute to realize all it took to make you
Your parents had to meet, as random as that was
And hang out long enough at least, to make some love
And make a baby, and give it your name
And all your ancestors had to do the same
Exponentially backwards to the start of life
So much had to happen just exactly right
Sparks had to catch, oceans had to freeze
Billions of cells had to survive endless disease
Civilizations had to crumble, wars had to be fought
Bad presidents had to get elected, good presidents had to get shot
People had to leave, hearts had to get broken
People had to die so your eyes could open
The universe is not against you
The universe is not against you
It went through a lot just to give you a chance
It must have wanted you pretty bad
No pressure, though